Land Down Under Post 2
So if you're not big into miracles then I recommend you stop reading now. Only the first week here in Toowoomba is almost done and already so many amazing revelations have been made and God has been working in some crazy cool ways. This might be a tad bit long so I'll separate it into a few sections for the readers in a hurry.
Testimony Prep
We are sharing our testimonies on Saturday, so I thought that it would be a good idea to start figuring out what I wanted to share. During my one-on-one with my leader (the equivalent of PNW's "let's go get a coffee to chat"), she was talking to me about how my testimony is not what I have gone through and how I was able to come out of it, it's about who I am today and the amazing things God has done in my life. It's tough looking back and saying that I am new and unashamed, but dang I've already felt so much healing. I was able to tell my testimony to her with a joy that the Lord holds me in his arms now, not with shame of my past. Every testimony is powerful, and sometimes the automatic Christian answer is that you have "a really good testimony" if you've been to hell and back. But that's not it!! God is good in everyone's lives, and every testimony is just a testament of his goodness. And since it's the same God we're talking about, no testimony is better than another.
Healing My Heart
So during one of the lectures, we were talking about the ideal man and woman to the world. It was really interesting to see how much women are based on image to the world and how much men are based on ability. But all of that is just a counterfeit of the real thing we should be striving after: the image of God and using our abilities for God. After we talked about all of that, Joanne (our AMAZING speaker) had all the girls stand in a line and all the guys stand in a line about an arms length away. Then she really challenged us. She had us stare into one person's eyes in the other line for a minute or so, without speaking, just asking God how he sees them. At first, it was super awkward, even with the worship music playing in the background. But then I started realizing how much I needed that. It was incredibly healing to be looked at by a guy not for the way I look, but them truly looking at me like our Father does. A lot of us girls were emotionally moved, and I definitely had some revelations about myself as well.
My Character
I was reading my Bible on Tuesday morning, and I just kept coming back to a passage with the word 'tenderhearted' in it. I wrote it all big in my journal and just kept looking at it. I just realized how much I love that word and that it's literally just one word, not two. It sounds simple, but I decided that I would love to be that way. I have tried to put up a hard heart front because of the people that have hurt me, and because of my fear that I would hurt other people. So I really started to believe that I was a pretty tough person that was unaffected by almost everything. Then, on Wednesday after the stare at each other's souls exercise (see last paragraph), a guy came up to me and just said that he just saw a tenderheartedness in me. I think God's trying to tell me something ;) But yeah I'm starting to realize that some of my character isn't really me, but just some traits I've tried to take on because of my past. And they're holding me back. So get ready, because tenderhearted Catyler is coming out once again.
MIRACLE DAY
Yeah so yesterday was probably one of the coolest days of my life. Sooooo much goodness packed into one day!! The day started with us writing out some lies that we had believed about ourselves and the truths that contradict it. I've done this before, but I think I had a few new ones that I realized. Then after the lecture, I went on a walk with a few of my friends. We all talked and got really deep, and I was able to connect more to one of the girls here because we have similar stories. Then she shared with me that she really doesn't like being held and definitely not hugs. So I told her that my goal for the end of the DTS was for her to want to initiate hugs with me. Back to that later. When we got back, it was time for our evening service/lecture/hang out time/prayer. Joanne had us all worship together, then rip up our lies that we had written down and put them in a jar at the cross. It was really hard for some people, so we were all able to pray with each other and be supportive. The girl I had talked to on the walk realized how much she had been trying to close out people and how hard it was for her to keep the truths instead of the lies. We all got to pray with her. Then Joanne had us all get in a circle, and had my other friend from London go to the middle. She had her read out loud her truths. Then Joanne said that she had a song to play for her, and for her to close her eyes and think about God being right there in front of her while it played. She played "We Dance" by Bethel. Now if you haven't heard that song, go listen to it right now. I hate to be bossy but this story will be so much cooler if you hear it. About halfway through the song, as she was closing her eyes in the middle, one of the guy leaders walked up to her and asked her to dance. Literally every girl in the room melted. It was super powerful for her too. Then Joanne invited other guys to step in and take a turn with her if they wanted, and so a bunch of guys danced with her for the rest of the song. At the end of the song, Joanne said she was going to play it again, and for all the guys in the room to ask a girl to dance if they felt called, because it was obviously really impactful. So one of my friends came up and asked me to dance, and then started to pray over me and say a few truths that the Lord feels about me. Halfway through, he said he saw this little girl dancing, and that maybe it could be my little sister? And that is when we both started sobbing. I worry about Haven so much, and just the image he gave me of her dancing around with Jesus was just so relieving. Incredible. So we half sobbed half danced for the rest of the song, and I could just imagine Jesus, and his joy right now. SO cool.
But that's not even all!!
Joanne then had us girls do a little something for the girl in the middle. She randomly started playing "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. So every girl in the place was dancing and singing to her and it was the most joyful and pure dance party ever.
Then it was someone else's turn to go to the middle. Joanne called one of the guys to the middle. He read his truths, and then made a confession. He's been struggling with an eating disorder for 6 years. SIX. My heart broke, because you would have no idea because he always is acting happy. Then Joanne had him lay on the ground and and had all the guys come around him and put pressure on him so that he couldn't get up. She asked him if this was how he felt, and he said yes. And so she asked him to really say his truths, and then the pressure would be off. He was able to say all of them, but he could not say that he felt attractive. He just could not believe it and bring himself to say it. It was heartbreaking. He'd been hurt by too many evil girls. So Joanne had everyone start praying. And then us girls began to sing "Jesus, Oh How He Loves You." All of the girls' voices were pretty impactful for him, and it was incredible to see. We slowly stopped singing, but then started up again with "He Makes Beautiful Things Out of Us." He was still struggling by the time we got done, so his close friend who was also a leader came close and was praying for him. NOW LISTEN TO THIS. I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying to me, open the floodgates. So I just prayed it out loud, God, open the floodgates, open the floodgates of heaven. That's when the rain started downpouring. No joke. My friend turned to me and was like, did you hear the rain right after you said that??? It was DUMPING. And a few minutes later, the guy in the middle started saying his truth, I am attractive. He kept saying it louder and louder until all the guys let go of the pressure and he was able to get up. He got up, and that's when the rain stopped. COME ON JESUS YESSSSSSSSSSSS! It was one of the coolest experiences to be a part of. How crazy is that. Then we all hugged him, and started singing together and worshipping. God sometimes is a small, still voice or moves in ways you can't see, but sometimes it's the most visible and huge way you can think of. Everyone is so much closer now, too. I love all of these people.
Testimony Prep
We are sharing our testimonies on Saturday, so I thought that it would be a good idea to start figuring out what I wanted to share. During my one-on-one with my leader (the equivalent of PNW's "let's go get a coffee to chat"), she was talking to me about how my testimony is not what I have gone through and how I was able to come out of it, it's about who I am today and the amazing things God has done in my life. It's tough looking back and saying that I am new and unashamed, but dang I've already felt so much healing. I was able to tell my testimony to her with a joy that the Lord holds me in his arms now, not with shame of my past. Every testimony is powerful, and sometimes the automatic Christian answer is that you have "a really good testimony" if you've been to hell and back. But that's not it!! God is good in everyone's lives, and every testimony is just a testament of his goodness. And since it's the same God we're talking about, no testimony is better than another.
Healing My Heart
So during one of the lectures, we were talking about the ideal man and woman to the world. It was really interesting to see how much women are based on image to the world and how much men are based on ability. But all of that is just a counterfeit of the real thing we should be striving after: the image of God and using our abilities for God. After we talked about all of that, Joanne (our AMAZING speaker) had all the girls stand in a line and all the guys stand in a line about an arms length away. Then she really challenged us. She had us stare into one person's eyes in the other line for a minute or so, without speaking, just asking God how he sees them. At first, it was super awkward, even with the worship music playing in the background. But then I started realizing how much I needed that. It was incredibly healing to be looked at by a guy not for the way I look, but them truly looking at me like our Father does. A lot of us girls were emotionally moved, and I definitely had some revelations about myself as well.
My Character
I was reading my Bible on Tuesday morning, and I just kept coming back to a passage with the word 'tenderhearted' in it. I wrote it all big in my journal and just kept looking at it. I just realized how much I love that word and that it's literally just one word, not two. It sounds simple, but I decided that I would love to be that way. I have tried to put up a hard heart front because of the people that have hurt me, and because of my fear that I would hurt other people. So I really started to believe that I was a pretty tough person that was unaffected by almost everything. Then, on Wednesday after the stare at each other's souls exercise (see last paragraph), a guy came up to me and just said that he just saw a tenderheartedness in me. I think God's trying to tell me something ;) But yeah I'm starting to realize that some of my character isn't really me, but just some traits I've tried to take on because of my past. And they're holding me back. So get ready, because tenderhearted Catyler is coming out once again.
MIRACLE DAY
Yeah so yesterday was probably one of the coolest days of my life. Sooooo much goodness packed into one day!! The day started with us writing out some lies that we had believed about ourselves and the truths that contradict it. I've done this before, but I think I had a few new ones that I realized. Then after the lecture, I went on a walk with a few of my friends. We all talked and got really deep, and I was able to connect more to one of the girls here because we have similar stories. Then she shared with me that she really doesn't like being held and definitely not hugs. So I told her that my goal for the end of the DTS was for her to want to initiate hugs with me. Back to that later. When we got back, it was time for our evening service/lecture/hang out time/prayer. Joanne had us all worship together, then rip up our lies that we had written down and put them in a jar at the cross. It was really hard for some people, so we were all able to pray with each other and be supportive. The girl I had talked to on the walk realized how much she had been trying to close out people and how hard it was for her to keep the truths instead of the lies. We all got to pray with her. Then Joanne had us all get in a circle, and had my other friend from London go to the middle. She had her read out loud her truths. Then Joanne said that she had a song to play for her, and for her to close her eyes and think about God being right there in front of her while it played. She played "We Dance" by Bethel. Now if you haven't heard that song, go listen to it right now. I hate to be bossy but this story will be so much cooler if you hear it. About halfway through the song, as she was closing her eyes in the middle, one of the guy leaders walked up to her and asked her to dance. Literally every girl in the room melted. It was super powerful for her too. Then Joanne invited other guys to step in and take a turn with her if they wanted, and so a bunch of guys danced with her for the rest of the song. At the end of the song, Joanne said she was going to play it again, and for all the guys in the room to ask a girl to dance if they felt called, because it was obviously really impactful. So one of my friends came up and asked me to dance, and then started to pray over me and say a few truths that the Lord feels about me. Halfway through, he said he saw this little girl dancing, and that maybe it could be my little sister? And that is when we both started sobbing. I worry about Haven so much, and just the image he gave me of her dancing around with Jesus was just so relieving. Incredible. So we half sobbed half danced for the rest of the song, and I could just imagine Jesus, and his joy right now. SO cool.
But that's not even all!!
Joanne then had us girls do a little something for the girl in the middle. She randomly started playing "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction. So every girl in the place was dancing and singing to her and it was the most joyful and pure dance party ever.
Then it was someone else's turn to go to the middle. Joanne called one of the guys to the middle. He read his truths, and then made a confession. He's been struggling with an eating disorder for 6 years. SIX. My heart broke, because you would have no idea because he always is acting happy. Then Joanne had him lay on the ground and and had all the guys come around him and put pressure on him so that he couldn't get up. She asked him if this was how he felt, and he said yes. And so she asked him to really say his truths, and then the pressure would be off. He was able to say all of them, but he could not say that he felt attractive. He just could not believe it and bring himself to say it. It was heartbreaking. He'd been hurt by too many evil girls. So Joanne had everyone start praying. And then us girls began to sing "Jesus, Oh How He Loves You." All of the girls' voices were pretty impactful for him, and it was incredible to see. We slowly stopped singing, but then started up again with "He Makes Beautiful Things Out of Us." He was still struggling by the time we got done, so his close friend who was also a leader came close and was praying for him. NOW LISTEN TO THIS. I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying to me, open the floodgates. So I just prayed it out loud, God, open the floodgates, open the floodgates of heaven. That's when the rain started downpouring. No joke. My friend turned to me and was like, did you hear the rain right after you said that??? It was DUMPING. And a few minutes later, the guy in the middle started saying his truth, I am attractive. He kept saying it louder and louder until all the guys let go of the pressure and he was able to get up. He got up, and that's when the rain stopped. COME ON JESUS YESSSSSSSSSSSS! It was one of the coolest experiences to be a part of. How crazy is that. Then we all hugged him, and started singing together and worshipping. God sometimes is a small, still voice or moves in ways you can't see, but sometimes it's the most visible and huge way you can think of. Everyone is so much closer now, too. I love all of these people.
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