Why I Sing & Why It's OH So Awkward
Singing... A subject that shouldn't be perpetually awkward but remains that way anyways. Basically a rule of thumb is just not to sing unless you're alone in your car or you're a pop star. Otherwise you are just seeking attention and it's awkward for everyone involved.
The truth is, most singers don't sing for you. Surprise! The last thing they want is to "show off what they got" or anything like that. Maybe I'm just speaking for me, since I almost puke every time I have to sing the National Anthem, but I don't think I am. I get a lot of different reactions when I sing, and that's why I'm just trying to explain all of this.
The first reason I sing so much is I genuinely have so much fun. It's cheesy, it sounds dumb, but music is a part of me. Feeling the vibrations from a song or trying new keys to test my limits or even writing songs to show a feeling in the best way possible...Music rocks. I can't just listen. I have to sing! I guess I can explain it like this, if you're super in love with golfing, you probably don't get the same feeling from watching Tiger quietly walk from hole to hole on TV as you do if you get a birdie yourself.
Another reason I sing is to worship. I'm so in love with God that it gets me giddy whenever I think about it. So here's God, always havin' my back from upstairs, and you think I'm not going to sing as loudly and as much as I can for Him?? That's just crazy talk. God gave me something that not all people get to enjoy, and I'm going to praise Him with it. Like, Jesus digs music too guys. Don't deny Him the pleasure of hearing your voice at any time because it's a little too awkward... Jesus mostly naked dying on a cross was probably more than just a little sad and awkward for Him, so the least I can do is give back to Him my gift.
Then there's the therapy aspect. I'm one of those that if there's a single thing that I can be stressing about, I'm going to be stressing about it. Anxiety is often a big problem for me. Little do people know, but I am an introvert. Don't worry, it was a surprise to me too. I am loud and sometimes obnoxious, so how could I be an introvert? What determines whether you are an introvert or an extrovert is where you derive your energy from. I get drained by being in big groups after a while and definitely recharge by being by myself, and, yes, singing. It's so relaxing that it's like therapy whenever I'm stressed or drained.
But wait, why do I post covers of myself singing, you may ask? 9 times out of 10, I'm testing my confidence. I have tried to become more and more confident in myself over the years, and posting can be a big scary step that I conquer. The comments on the videos or the likes aren't the confidence boosters, hitting post is. I usually have a one-sided self pep talk with my mom before I post it, and then another one-sided regretful panic talk with my mom after. Thankfully, her listening ear is usually enough to calm myself down from the hype of the push of that button. The other 1 out of 10 is because I want to share a worship song. Because, again, Jesus.
And last but not least, I have been told a few times that my singing has touched them or made them cry. The fact that I can do that for someone... Move their heart with just a few notes? That's cool stuff guys. I don't know about you, but I like making people feel good. Songs give hope, they create feelings that can't be made any other way, and they can be so beautiful.
Singing on the street corner or on a walk through a park or singing on the worship team means a lot to me. So that's why I sing, and why I really don't intend to be awkward.
The truth is, most singers don't sing for you. Surprise! The last thing they want is to "show off what they got" or anything like that. Maybe I'm just speaking for me, since I almost puke every time I have to sing the National Anthem, but I don't think I am. I get a lot of different reactions when I sing, and that's why I'm just trying to explain all of this.
Another reason I sing is to worship. I'm so in love with God that it gets me giddy whenever I think about it. So here's God, always havin' my back from upstairs, and you think I'm not going to sing as loudly and as much as I can for Him?? That's just crazy talk. God gave me something that not all people get to enjoy, and I'm going to praise Him with it. Like, Jesus digs music too guys. Don't deny Him the pleasure of hearing your voice at any time because it's a little too awkward... Jesus mostly naked dying on a cross was probably more than just a little sad and awkward for Him, so the least I can do is give back to Him my gift.
Then there's the therapy aspect. I'm one of those that if there's a single thing that I can be stressing about, I'm going to be stressing about it. Anxiety is often a big problem for me. Little do people know, but I am an introvert. Don't worry, it was a surprise to me too. I am loud and sometimes obnoxious, so how could I be an introvert? What determines whether you are an introvert or an extrovert is where you derive your energy from. I get drained by being in big groups after a while and definitely recharge by being by myself, and, yes, singing. It's so relaxing that it's like therapy whenever I'm stressed or drained.
But wait, why do I post covers of myself singing, you may ask? 9 times out of 10, I'm testing my confidence. I have tried to become more and more confident in myself over the years, and posting can be a big scary step that I conquer. The comments on the videos or the likes aren't the confidence boosters, hitting post is. I usually have a one-sided self pep talk with my mom before I post it, and then another one-sided regretful panic talk with my mom after. Thankfully, her listening ear is usually enough to calm myself down from the hype of the push of that button. The other 1 out of 10 is because I want to share a worship song. Because, again, Jesus.
And last but not least, I have been told a few times that my singing has touched them or made them cry. The fact that I can do that for someone... Move their heart with just a few notes? That's cool stuff guys. I don't know about you, but I like making people feel good. Songs give hope, they create feelings that can't be made any other way, and they can be so beautiful.
Singing on the street corner or on a walk through a park or singing on the worship team means a lot to me. So that's why I sing, and why I really don't intend to be awkward.
Beautiful.....keep on singing! God love you!
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