Stuck With You & Why I'm Not Excited to Finally Get Away
There are two types of people. Some like to look at the best case scenario and some look at the best case for the scenario. Two hugely different things. The first is someone that knows what would be "best" for them at any given time, and are usually unsatisfied with their current state. The second is someone that takes their circumstances and looks for the beauty in every aspect of it exactly where it is. Honestly, if we all take a close look at ourselves, a lot of us would probably not fall into the latter group of people. It's difficult to be faced with a hardship in life and be genuinely thankful for all of the blessings we do have.
What I do know for sure, though, is that it's possible. It's possible to be given crappy deck after CRAPPY deck of cards and to still be positive. I know this because I grew up with Tiffany Ellen Bruland. Tiff... who is probably cringing that I included her middle name in this, who is probably embarrassed that she's even getting any attention at all for being an amazing person. But, like our relationship always has been, I must embarrass her. So lemme tell you bout my best friend.
A lot of people aren't really aware of how long we've really known each other. For me, she's been my best friend since my actual birth; for her, since she was about 6 months old (only because she's 6 months older, which she won't let anyone forget, but hey - I taught her how to read and tie her shoes so...). Our moms were in some group together when we were born and ended up close so we kinda just got stuck together with the package deal. Turned out that we liked each other and grew up inseparable except, of course, for when I annoyed her too much or she annoyed me and we got in fights. That hasn't changed with age.
In 2nd grade, we had such a big fight that I think we almost didn't talk to each other for a whole two days or so. She had more friends than I did and I wasn't satisfied with the amount of time she spent with me at recess. Now that I type that out I realize that it wasn't quite as big of a deal as I made it out to be, so I guess I'll finally let that one rest.
Then there was middle school, which was rough for everyone but especially rough for us. Both going through our mega hormonal stage and spending way too much time together usually equated to about one or two lethal fights per month. By the grace of God, we are both alive today and only came out with one battle scar (on me I might add).
But during high school, a lot changed. I derailed for a while. But still she was there for me, time and time again, throughout all of my tantrums and when I turned against her. I was hurting and angry and lashing out, and she accepted the brunt of it. She always believed that I was the same old CJ underneath and nothing and no one could really change that. I quite literally do not know how she handled me. Thank GOD she did. Tiff looked at me in that scenario and knew that God would grab a hold of my heart if I would just let Him, so she prayed and prayed and prayed. I was stubborn, and it took me a long time to let Him, but she was there and patiently waited. I can't be more thankful for that.
Now here's the thing, she gets even better. It's quite unbelievable. Tiff went through by far the hardest year of her life this past year. Everyone has a major bad thing happen to them that takes a long time to recover from. Tiff, unfortunately, got hit by so many devastating things all around the same time. Her whole life turned upside down and inside out and I couldn't do anything to help. Gramma Strum was more than just her grandma. She was her therapist, her best friend, her personal comedian, her understanding and loving refuge, her beautiful role model, and so much more. When she got cancer, Tiff was shocked. Not once, though, did I ever see Tiff let one moment go to waste. She found beauty wherever she could find it in that scenario, and everyone around her was amazed at her maturity and bravery. You would think she would need encouragement constantly, but on more than one occasion I found her encouraging me or others that God has perfect timing and a perfect plan! Even one of her closest friends wasn't there for her when she needed it most, and still she found every reason to love them and focus on the joy of the Lord. She continues to inspire me. The year that the enemy undoubtedly thought would break her only made her stronger.
So here Tiff is, about to leave for Nicaragua for a year for missions, and I just don't want to let her go. It's utterly selfish of me, I know. But she's my best friend. Who's going to know that her birthday is exactly one day before my half birthday and that her favorite color has been blue since elementary school? Who's going to dance to Beyonce in her car with her with the AWFUL bass or make sure she has onions on her burger? Who's going to accept her for loving cats so much or her calling you a different nickname literally every time she talks to you? Who's going to curl her hair and do her makeup or pretend that the blonde statement that just came out of her mouth didn't happen? Who's going to roll their eyes at her when she's laughing at absolutely nothing or make her spend her money on clothing she doesn't need? Well, that will all still be me, but FaceTime isn't the same. I'm aware that this all sounds like some sort of breakup letter, but you must understand that I need to properly go through each of the stages of loss. Tiffany is really humble, too, so she never gets the recognition she deserves. Everyone needs a best friend like Tiffany in their life, but fortunately for me, there's no one else like her.
What I do know for sure, though, is that it's possible. It's possible to be given crappy deck after CRAPPY deck of cards and to still be positive. I know this because I grew up with Tiffany Ellen Bruland. Tiff... who is probably cringing that I included her middle name in this, who is probably embarrassed that she's even getting any attention at all for being an amazing person. But, like our relationship always has been, I must embarrass her. So lemme tell you bout my best friend.
A lot of people aren't really aware of how long we've really known each other. For me, she's been my best friend since my actual birth; for her, since she was about 6 months old (only because she's 6 months older, which she won't let anyone forget, but hey - I taught her how to read and tie her shoes so...). Our moms were in some group together when we were born and ended up close so we kinda just got stuck together with the package deal. Turned out that we liked each other and grew up inseparable except, of course, for when I annoyed her too much or she annoyed me and we got in fights. That hasn't changed with age.
In 2nd grade, we had such a big fight that I think we almost didn't talk to each other for a whole two days or so. She had more friends than I did and I wasn't satisfied with the amount of time she spent with me at recess. Now that I type that out I realize that it wasn't quite as big of a deal as I made it out to be, so I guess I'll finally let that one rest.
Then there was middle school, which was rough for everyone but especially rough for us. Both going through our mega hormonal stage and spending way too much time together usually equated to about one or two lethal fights per month. By the grace of God, we are both alive today and only came out with one battle scar (on me I might add).
But during high school, a lot changed. I derailed for a while. But still she was there for me, time and time again, throughout all of my tantrums and when I turned against her. I was hurting and angry and lashing out, and she accepted the brunt of it. She always believed that I was the same old CJ underneath and nothing and no one could really change that. I quite literally do not know how she handled me. Thank GOD she did. Tiff looked at me in that scenario and knew that God would grab a hold of my heart if I would just let Him, so she prayed and prayed and prayed. I was stubborn, and it took me a long time to let Him, but she was there and patiently waited. I can't be more thankful for that.
Now here's the thing, she gets even better. It's quite unbelievable. Tiff went through by far the hardest year of her life this past year. Everyone has a major bad thing happen to them that takes a long time to recover from. Tiff, unfortunately, got hit by so many devastating things all around the same time. Her whole life turned upside down and inside out and I couldn't do anything to help. Gramma Strum was more than just her grandma. She was her therapist, her best friend, her personal comedian, her understanding and loving refuge, her beautiful role model, and so much more. When she got cancer, Tiff was shocked. Not once, though, did I ever see Tiff let one moment go to waste. She found beauty wherever she could find it in that scenario, and everyone around her was amazed at her maturity and bravery. You would think she would need encouragement constantly, but on more than one occasion I found her encouraging me or others that God has perfect timing and a perfect plan! Even one of her closest friends wasn't there for her when she needed it most, and still she found every reason to love them and focus on the joy of the Lord. She continues to inspire me. The year that the enemy undoubtedly thought would break her only made her stronger.
So here Tiff is, about to leave for Nicaragua for a year for missions, and I just don't want to let her go. It's utterly selfish of me, I know. But she's my best friend. Who's going to know that her birthday is exactly one day before my half birthday and that her favorite color has been blue since elementary school? Who's going to dance to Beyonce in her car with her with the AWFUL bass or make sure she has onions on her burger? Who's going to accept her for loving cats so much or her calling you a different nickname literally every time she talks to you? Who's going to curl her hair and do her makeup or pretend that the blonde statement that just came out of her mouth didn't happen? Who's going to roll their eyes at her when she's laughing at absolutely nothing or make her spend her money on clothing she doesn't need? Well, that will all still be me, but FaceTime isn't the same. I'm aware that this all sounds like some sort of breakup letter, but you must understand that I need to properly go through each of the stages of loss. Tiffany is really humble, too, so she never gets the recognition she deserves. Everyone needs a best friend like Tiffany in their life, but fortunately for me, there's no one else like her.
love this.
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